I give myself away so you can use me as I am a friend of God and he calls me friend
Elaine Waterfield explains from the inside out what life as a missionary actually feels like.
Elaine Waterfield explains from the inside out what life as a missionary actually feels like.
by Elaine Waterfield on Wednesday, 17 October 2012 at 07:21 ·
Nobody has any idea what its like to be a missionary unless you have lived as one especially in a rural area and living within a community whose culture and traditions re so very different to the ones you have been brought up in. But I thank God for the privalidge to be one and being sent out to Iraq and Kenya. I havent been sent by a missionary society but sent by God no church behind me just lots of friends who hve helped me and and supported me and my community in our darkest hour. But I give myself away God so you can use me.my life is not my own to you I belong I give myselfy away.
I have become two people Nya Suna Wiga and Laineeloo and they are two very different people when I go to the airport off to kenya Laineeloo becomes Nya suna when I go to the airport back to Heathrow I am laineeloo and sometimes I get very confused and its difficult to adjust. It takes six weeks to get back to living like a Mzungu and six months to revert to Nya Suna living in a semi perminant house and using a hole in the floor for a toilet with bats and flies maggots and sometimes stench behyond imagination. Visitng houses with children who have died because of ignorance and girls subjected to prostitution because of poverty and the need of education and info to iradicate poverty and ignorance.
Frustration of language barrier, culture and tradition which at times I fail to undertand and cant cope with, food which for me is alien to me and find myself with diaroreah and sickness, widow inheritance and the mind blowing practise of getting a alcohlics or special needs men to have sex iwith a widow whose died to cleanse them as well as polygamy.Sometimes at night when theres no elctricity an no water light and its very lonely and I feeling incredibly home sick I just wonder what on earth am I doing here but then God says " for the Kingdom of God and did you think that to take up your cross for me would be easy."
I have had temper tantrums and mardy fits becasue of the language barrier, what grates on my nerves is that the people can speak english but still speak in Luo and alll day I dont understand what they talkiing about but blabber and cant engage in a conversation and then go back to a dark house with silence.and cry to God WHY WHY WHY WHAT AM I DOING HERE and God lovingly says the KINGDOM OF GOD and when I wake up it is all OK.But if you took all of it away I would be devasated its my life and I love to be pushed and stretched as that where you see God. When i go off with the hump as I dont understand whats happening in a meeting they tell me its bad behaviour and so I dispair so the only solution is when I go back to learn the language and teach them english. Plus they want to eat all day food is so important to them it comes before anything even God sometimes they had a fund raising and the spirit was moveing but they stopped for lunch, Me I hate food to me foos means getting fat and being mocked. Mardy Nya Suna but maybe one day they will understand. Food to the britts esepcacially women is a curse pile on the pounds and you cant get it off, Wjat takes me six months in Africa to loose I pile it back on in six weeks. Also when I am away they dont communicte but then ie expect its the pessa.. but I have no money either what is happening but when I go back I will surely find out?
When I arrived in Africa I was fatter and unfit and africans are terrible " you are too fat to sit on my bike," " you cant tell your breasts from your stomache and you re heavy so for a woman who suffered with anerexia and starved herself to 6 stone it was an anerexics hell but made you get over stuff. Its kind of like a love hate realtionship.
However what draws me back is how I have seen the hand of God in a community of people who are beautiful and loving and who haver tremendous faith and whose worship (although takes time to get your head round coming from a very quiet back ground in comparison) its addictive and powerful, so when you come back to UK the quiteness has becomes as frustrating and boring. I miss the clapping of hands and the vibrant singing and demons being cast out I remember one day in the Uk house having a fellowship group all clapping shouting singing jumping and I thought these people were mad ( so differen to west End) so sitting outside I saw a young man coming out of the Uk house rolling on the floor and I thought" thats it God no more choruwoks "and do you know what God did he had me cast demons out of him and i miss chokruwoks in my UK house so God can I please have some more.
I have had some really treasurable experiences seeing Morris and Challis and Nashons lives turn around from alcohol and a life of crime and now seeing them witness to others and from being despised they are respected. Seeing young girls being empowered by a football tournement for girls giving them a voice in their struggles and confidence, encouragement and knowledge that Girls OK God loves Girls and Girls are preciouse. Praising God and singing with makongeni church up the mountain and walking home at 2am and bumping into all these drunks and leading them to the Lord. Seeing peoples health restored from near death and seeing God build a clinic and ward and office in a very short time, climbing up mount kilamanjaro even only for a shirt way for a day, God made a way when we had no money to fullfill a dream. Seeing Pam walking round house after house in Liegh park to raise money which went on school fees for girls. to see such interaction is amazing.Poor Pam she did get a bit of abuse but shes a stalwart and did an amazing job.
I never thought I would be given the task of given a stick and walking round the field praying wher to put htem for the foundation od a church and seeing the Lord get people making the bricks and getting them ready to build.Parents going up the mountain and praying for school feees whilst the Lord at the same time speaks to someone in the Uk to give money for school fees.Lord you are good and your mercy endyreth forever. One of the other great moments was to see two familes in adultry to repent and give their lives to God and forgive awesome. The list goes on and how I had nothing and God provided with money even money for a cow to feed people at a convention this happened a few times.i was also inspired how friends gave and gave praise God as without them we would be stuffed and not got where we are today.In Chuingni people are calling babies Elaine after me and in Chungni I have so many children so God is amazing he restores the years the locusts have eaten as in Uk my kids have given up on me
Every time I seem to get to a place where I am used to my life in Chungni I have to come back to the Uk and by this time I feel drained and need my bucket filing but faiingl to realise that my bucket has been filled to over flowing. I get to the point where I dont want to go back to England and would even contemplae hiding in the mountains to avoid coming back to blighty..
Back in England I miss my kenyan family and with phone calls that are expensive and time difference I have lost six weeks and wonder whats happening and feel I missed so much. but do you know God is the same God in Kenya as he is here. Despite the worry of silly visa and things out of my control I have been so blessed and filled up again, God provided me with a years multi visa amen, I have experienced worshiping and praying with 300000 people in Wembley Football stadium and seing the glory of God coming down and where people come to worship football and idol and spend loads of money to get to we are worshiping the living God then at night we saw an ex football hooligan Renton giving testimony of how Jesus changed his life a violent guy now changed and restored he was such an angry man who lived his life wanting to fight the oposing team hatred that was demonic but now you would have never believed he was the same man.
London to me going there seemed to be very plastic all about what you earn who you are and know what you look like and wealth thank God in Gods kingdom it doesnt matter what you are and who your we are all needing salvation and are all saved by Grace and nothing can change us or help us only Jesus death and ressurection on the cross.
When I went to Leicester I was able to preach in the town and meet with friends pray up old John with Fatima kids and Gemma for George and Sarahs child Jamoko who was restored and healed by faith and prayer amen. I met Sandie hastings a police officer who I met whilst working on an estate in Leicester and she is dealing with Restoative Justice. We became really good friends over the years Big Sis I remember when Nigel was alive we had a phone call to say that her dad was in hspital and we all went to pray outside the Leicester Royal Informary and do you know what the father got better over the months and yet he had only 23% chance of survival amen. God gave him a few more years of life and this time he died and Sandie was at peace and happy the way the hospital treated him. She is seeking raki which isnt a christian thing todo so pray that Jesus changes her life and be with her today as they bury Brad.
Another amazing thing was to see Steven a lad from Glen Parva HMP now out I met him and his parents and they thanked Nigel and me for we had had an influence on him and wow that blew my mind away. They saw that Nigel came to see them every week despite the fact that he was in a wheelchair with Muscualr dystrophy. Moments like these are treasures God gave me the chance to see how what we did as a couple did make a difference.
Went to see Dave and Tammy and Kids wow was like I had never been away that was treasuarble and I cried when i left as I miss them they were my family and still are, I love them I have so many memories like when Tammy who was on crutches at the time and Nigel in the wheelchair was sat waiting for me in the car and I had nt put the handbreak on and they were rolling down the hill thank goodness Tammy managed to get it in time depsite the struggle. The when we went preaching in Northampton Nigel went into the shop when it rained but they thought he was in the toilet.. steve and dave where standing outside and shouting Nigel are you alright/ soooooooooooooooooooo funny.
Didnt see Steve he was in rehab to dry out from alcohol but he was sent back to Dupont he so needs to be sent somewhere esle out of the way of Friends. I pray Lord you send some more missionaries there and a church in Dupont Gardens . I looked at the close and thought of all the street parties and bible studies prayers and tears and laughter and how the kids used to be seen as nobodys just ASBO kids but God loved them and saw them going to sunday school Kingsway fellowship. From throwing stones after four years we visited High grove were prince charles lives and they were amazing kids so well behaved love them and all the friends there amazing times. I did go out a couple of evening as a sterrt apstor thanks to Frank and enjoyed having a go on a skate board although I fell off nearly silly me but it does have a purpose street pastors is bridges the gap between young and old and makes a difference if you dont always see it so keep on folks.
During this time I was greatly pleased to have spoken on line to the man who brought me back to the Lord and had the privalidge to have thanked him. I had been a back slider for 20 years and hated christians but he told me to always put God before man and his witness was a great encouragement to me and had it not have been for that witness I wouldnt have been and done things I was doing now So Julian thank you I will always be endebted to you and you will awlays have a special place in my heart as my spiritual parent and the man who changed my life. God turned my beauty to ashes and sorrow in to joy mourning into dances.
One of the hardest things for me to witness was to see a special friend in a wheelchair he looked like a different person and couldnt walk or talk and that upset me as he was the life and soul of the church. It. It reminded me of all the struggles me and Nigel went through and I got a little agnry with God because I never thoguht this would happen to my friend who I looked up to and thought so much of who I love greatly as a man of God It was just a shock and a reminder of Nigels struggles, something I put on the back burner so please pray for healing and restoration in my friends life.
This weekend I am going to Belfast thats a miracle Mandy invited me to a ball and yet I have no money my friends were saying I couldny go no dress no shoes no ticket but hey ho guess what God provided me with a kind lady who pais for my ticket, I cried all night as I have always wanted togo to a ball and God dad my husband heard my cry and now cinderalla can go to the ball.
Now after all the moods and tears about visa I am going to find leaving UK diificult but very much looking forward to going back to Chungni and learning all what happening there. Its just hard meeting firends again seen my mum who is more spiritual than I thought and getting used to light how water baths and driving the car to the beach and cycling with christine meeting up with pam and anne and having a conversation in my own language.
However I miss preaching and teaching waking up to beautiful country side and the heat watching Challis and Nashon grow in God gadding about on the pikki pikki with George and miss sarahs sense of humour and wisdom and cooking. little jamoko . brian roger the dodger Makongeni church and singing santa sana buana climbing the mountain miss their faith Africa is magical, spiritual place that draws me pulls me and shapes me restores me. People from Chungni have given to me far more than I could have ever given. A sense of family, love, care and acceptence a purpose in life when at the time I went I was on at risk with the doctors of suicide because I was grieving for Nigel and had given up and in pain as my family had abandonded me they gave me hope to see lives changed and restoring, plus a big thanks to George and Sarah who have helped me change into a very different person without them I couldnt have done anything even going to the chanaga brerey to preach love that family and little jamoko love Makognei church Maragert and Domincus peter Dominic Pastor Joshua and Pastor Peter without all these people and most opf all God nothing would have been possible. without Trevor and Joan. Christine and Chris Pam and Anne, Hayley Ruth and Martin Frank Parker and so amny many others.
In Uk the people who have been my rock is Trevor Davies my bessie bessie mate he provides me accomodation friendship a car and listens to hours of me going on but great fun in the digger getting off the ivy, Plus frank and sally parker who helped me get places to speak and Ruth and Martin . Anne and Pam who help so much and chris and christine without their friendship and support none of this would be possible all people who help and support love you to bits in chungni kenya and Uk.
Linvoy faith and football have given me some kit to take back and Pam and nne have got stuff too and martin and ruth
With Jesus you go to places you never thought you would go do things you never thought you would do and meet people you never thought you would meet its so true..
So I pray God that you wil send me back to Africa with a new song to sing and a new thing and do even more amazing things as the best is yet to come. But I do pray that I get sponsership and we do get help and people do come to see us as I am broke and we cant do anything unless we have money and people are just wanting and waiting people like Trevor Martin Ruth and Joey Daniels to come and visit we need ideas, inspiration and to know that they are thought of and as I found they give back far more than we can ever give
Cherry Silcox on FacebookI have become two people Nya Suna Wiga and Laineeloo and they are two very different people when I go to the airport off to kenya Laineeloo becomes Nya suna when I go to the airport back to Heathrow I am laineeloo and sometimes I get very confused and its difficult to adjust. It takes six weeks to get back to living like a Mzungu and six months to revert to Nya Suna living in a semi perminant house and using a hole in the floor for a toilet with bats and flies maggots and sometimes stench behyond imagination. Visitng houses with children who have died because of ignorance and girls subjected to prostitution because of poverty and the need of education and info to iradicate poverty and ignorance.
Frustration of language barrier, culture and tradition which at times I fail to undertand and cant cope with, food which for me is alien to me and find myself with diaroreah and sickness, widow inheritance and the mind blowing practise of getting a alcohlics or special needs men to have sex iwith a widow whose died to cleanse them as well as polygamy.Sometimes at night when theres no elctricity an no water light and its very lonely and I feeling incredibly home sick I just wonder what on earth am I doing here but then God says " for the Kingdom of God and did you think that to take up your cross for me would be easy."
I have had temper tantrums and mardy fits becasue of the language barrier, what grates on my nerves is that the people can speak english but still speak in Luo and alll day I dont understand what they talkiing about but blabber and cant engage in a conversation and then go back to a dark house with silence.and cry to God WHY WHY WHY WHAT AM I DOING HERE and God lovingly says the KINGDOM OF GOD and when I wake up it is all OK.But if you took all of it away I would be devasated its my life and I love to be pushed and stretched as that where you see God. When i go off with the hump as I dont understand whats happening in a meeting they tell me its bad behaviour and so I dispair so the only solution is when I go back to learn the language and teach them english. Plus they want to eat all day food is so important to them it comes before anything even God sometimes they had a fund raising and the spirit was moveing but they stopped for lunch, Me I hate food to me foos means getting fat and being mocked. Mardy Nya Suna but maybe one day they will understand. Food to the britts esepcacially women is a curse pile on the pounds and you cant get it off, Wjat takes me six months in Africa to loose I pile it back on in six weeks. Also when I am away they dont communicte but then ie expect its the pessa.. but I have no money either what is happening but when I go back I will surely find out?
When I arrived in Africa I was fatter and unfit and africans are terrible " you are too fat to sit on my bike," " you cant tell your breasts from your stomache and you re heavy so for a woman who suffered with anerexia and starved herself to 6 stone it was an anerexics hell but made you get over stuff. Its kind of like a love hate realtionship.
However what draws me back is how I have seen the hand of God in a community of people who are beautiful and loving and who haver tremendous faith and whose worship (although takes time to get your head round coming from a very quiet back ground in comparison) its addictive and powerful, so when you come back to UK the quiteness has becomes as frustrating and boring. I miss the clapping of hands and the vibrant singing and demons being cast out I remember one day in the Uk house having a fellowship group all clapping shouting singing jumping and I thought these people were mad ( so differen to west End) so sitting outside I saw a young man coming out of the Uk house rolling on the floor and I thought" thats it God no more choruwoks "and do you know what God did he had me cast demons out of him and i miss chokruwoks in my UK house so God can I please have some more.
I have had some really treasurable experiences seeing Morris and Challis and Nashons lives turn around from alcohol and a life of crime and now seeing them witness to others and from being despised they are respected. Seeing young girls being empowered by a football tournement for girls giving them a voice in their struggles and confidence, encouragement and knowledge that Girls OK God loves Girls and Girls are preciouse. Praising God and singing with makongeni church up the mountain and walking home at 2am and bumping into all these drunks and leading them to the Lord. Seeing peoples health restored from near death and seeing God build a clinic and ward and office in a very short time, climbing up mount kilamanjaro even only for a shirt way for a day, God made a way when we had no money to fullfill a dream. Seeing Pam walking round house after house in Liegh park to raise money which went on school fees for girls. to see such interaction is amazing.Poor Pam she did get a bit of abuse but shes a stalwart and did an amazing job.
I never thought I would be given the task of given a stick and walking round the field praying wher to put htem for the foundation od a church and seeing the Lord get people making the bricks and getting them ready to build.Parents going up the mountain and praying for school feees whilst the Lord at the same time speaks to someone in the Uk to give money for school fees.Lord you are good and your mercy endyreth forever. One of the other great moments was to see two familes in adultry to repent and give their lives to God and forgive awesome. The list goes on and how I had nothing and God provided with money even money for a cow to feed people at a convention this happened a few times.i was also inspired how friends gave and gave praise God as without them we would be stuffed and not got where we are today.In Chuingni people are calling babies Elaine after me and in Chungni I have so many children so God is amazing he restores the years the locusts have eaten as in Uk my kids have given up on me
Every time I seem to get to a place where I am used to my life in Chungni I have to come back to the Uk and by this time I feel drained and need my bucket filing but faiingl to realise that my bucket has been filled to over flowing. I get to the point where I dont want to go back to England and would even contemplae hiding in the mountains to avoid coming back to blighty..
Back in England I miss my kenyan family and with phone calls that are expensive and time difference I have lost six weeks and wonder whats happening and feel I missed so much. but do you know God is the same God in Kenya as he is here. Despite the worry of silly visa and things out of my control I have been so blessed and filled up again, God provided me with a years multi visa amen, I have experienced worshiping and praying with 300000 people in Wembley Football stadium and seing the glory of God coming down and where people come to worship football and idol and spend loads of money to get to we are worshiping the living God then at night we saw an ex football hooligan Renton giving testimony of how Jesus changed his life a violent guy now changed and restored he was such an angry man who lived his life wanting to fight the oposing team hatred that was demonic but now you would have never believed he was the same man.
London to me going there seemed to be very plastic all about what you earn who you are and know what you look like and wealth thank God in Gods kingdom it doesnt matter what you are and who your we are all needing salvation and are all saved by Grace and nothing can change us or help us only Jesus death and ressurection on the cross.
When I went to Leicester I was able to preach in the town and meet with friends pray up old John with Fatima kids and Gemma for George and Sarahs child Jamoko who was restored and healed by faith and prayer amen. I met Sandie hastings a police officer who I met whilst working on an estate in Leicester and she is dealing with Restoative Justice. We became really good friends over the years Big Sis I remember when Nigel was alive we had a phone call to say that her dad was in hspital and we all went to pray outside the Leicester Royal Informary and do you know what the father got better over the months and yet he had only 23% chance of survival amen. God gave him a few more years of life and this time he died and Sandie was at peace and happy the way the hospital treated him. She is seeking raki which isnt a christian thing todo so pray that Jesus changes her life and be with her today as they bury Brad.
Another amazing thing was to see Steven a lad from Glen Parva HMP now out I met him and his parents and they thanked Nigel and me for we had had an influence on him and wow that blew my mind away. They saw that Nigel came to see them every week despite the fact that he was in a wheelchair with Muscualr dystrophy. Moments like these are treasures God gave me the chance to see how what we did as a couple did make a difference.
Went to see Dave and Tammy and Kids wow was like I had never been away that was treasuarble and I cried when i left as I miss them they were my family and still are, I love them I have so many memories like when Tammy who was on crutches at the time and Nigel in the wheelchair was sat waiting for me in the car and I had nt put the handbreak on and they were rolling down the hill thank goodness Tammy managed to get it in time depsite the struggle. The when we went preaching in Northampton Nigel went into the shop when it rained but they thought he was in the toilet.. steve and dave where standing outside and shouting Nigel are you alright/ soooooooooooooooooooo funny.
Didnt see Steve he was in rehab to dry out from alcohol but he was sent back to Dupont he so needs to be sent somewhere esle out of the way of Friends. I pray Lord you send some more missionaries there and a church in Dupont Gardens . I looked at the close and thought of all the street parties and bible studies prayers and tears and laughter and how the kids used to be seen as nobodys just ASBO kids but God loved them and saw them going to sunday school Kingsway fellowship. From throwing stones after four years we visited High grove were prince charles lives and they were amazing kids so well behaved love them and all the friends there amazing times. I did go out a couple of evening as a sterrt apstor thanks to Frank and enjoyed having a go on a skate board although I fell off nearly silly me but it does have a purpose street pastors is bridges the gap between young and old and makes a difference if you dont always see it so keep on folks.
During this time I was greatly pleased to have spoken on line to the man who brought me back to the Lord and had the privalidge to have thanked him. I had been a back slider for 20 years and hated christians but he told me to always put God before man and his witness was a great encouragement to me and had it not have been for that witness I wouldnt have been and done things I was doing now So Julian thank you I will always be endebted to you and you will awlays have a special place in my heart as my spiritual parent and the man who changed my life. God turned my beauty to ashes and sorrow in to joy mourning into dances.
One of the hardest things for me to witness was to see a special friend in a wheelchair he looked like a different person and couldnt walk or talk and that upset me as he was the life and soul of the church. It. It reminded me of all the struggles me and Nigel went through and I got a little agnry with God because I never thoguht this would happen to my friend who I looked up to and thought so much of who I love greatly as a man of God It was just a shock and a reminder of Nigels struggles, something I put on the back burner so please pray for healing and restoration in my friends life.
This weekend I am going to Belfast thats a miracle Mandy invited me to a ball and yet I have no money my friends were saying I couldny go no dress no shoes no ticket but hey ho guess what God provided me with a kind lady who pais for my ticket, I cried all night as I have always wanted togo to a ball and God dad my husband heard my cry and now cinderalla can go to the ball.
Now after all the moods and tears about visa I am going to find leaving UK diificult but very much looking forward to going back to Chungni and learning all what happening there. Its just hard meeting firends again seen my mum who is more spiritual than I thought and getting used to light how water baths and driving the car to the beach and cycling with christine meeting up with pam and anne and having a conversation in my own language.
However I miss preaching and teaching waking up to beautiful country side and the heat watching Challis and Nashon grow in God gadding about on the pikki pikki with George and miss sarahs sense of humour and wisdom and cooking. little jamoko . brian roger the dodger Makongeni church and singing santa sana buana climbing the mountain miss their faith Africa is magical, spiritual place that draws me pulls me and shapes me restores me. People from Chungni have given to me far more than I could have ever given. A sense of family, love, care and acceptence a purpose in life when at the time I went I was on at risk with the doctors of suicide because I was grieving for Nigel and had given up and in pain as my family had abandonded me they gave me hope to see lives changed and restoring, plus a big thanks to George and Sarah who have helped me change into a very different person without them I couldnt have done anything even going to the chanaga brerey to preach love that family and little jamoko love Makognei church Maragert and Domincus peter Dominic Pastor Joshua and Pastor Peter without all these people and most opf all God nothing would have been possible. without Trevor and Joan. Christine and Chris Pam and Anne, Hayley Ruth and Martin Frank Parker and so amny many others.
In Uk the people who have been my rock is Trevor Davies my bessie bessie mate he provides me accomodation friendship a car and listens to hours of me going on but great fun in the digger getting off the ivy, Plus frank and sally parker who helped me get places to speak and Ruth and Martin . Anne and Pam who help so much and chris and christine without their friendship and support none of this would be possible all people who help and support love you to bits in chungni kenya and Uk.
Linvoy faith and football have given me some kit to take back and Pam and nne have got stuff too and martin and ruth
With Jesus you go to places you never thought you would go do things you never thought you would do and meet people you never thought you would meet its so true..
So I pray God that you wil send me back to Africa with a new song to sing and a new thing and do even more amazing things as the best is yet to come. But I do pray that I get sponsership and we do get help and people do come to see us as I am broke and we cant do anything unless we have money and people are just wanting and waiting people like Trevor Martin Ruth and Joey Daniels to come and visit we need ideas, inspiration and to know that they are thought of and as I found they give back far more than we can ever give
23 July
 |
| Cherry Silcox |
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1 comment:
"So I pray God that you wil send me back to Africa with a new song to sing and a new thing and do even more amazing things as the best is yet to come."
Yes, will pray you that one. I pray you will have amazing things. Good luck.
Regards,
Christine Eubanks
Ubiquinol
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