`For the Word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything He does.' - Psalm 33:4 New Living Translation
Watching the men and women who competed in the Paralympics, I was stunned at the seemingly insurmountable difficulties they had to overcome in order to take part. All of them showed such courage and determination. They had not let adversity in their life either by accident or by birth determine what they could achieve. They had not given up, but had gone on to achieve a goal in their chosen field.
Handing someone a card with 'never give up' written on it, however encouraging, can never be enough - the person himself/herself has to be active and participate in the process of overcoming.
Recently I had a routine CT scan. It clearly showed a large tumour in the left frontal region of my skull. Nine years ago I had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and spent nearly
2 years in hospital. Memories of this came
flooding back as I stared with the Consultant at the image in front of us.Itshowed indisputably a larger mass that encroached on a large area of my brain. We were both shocked.
During the last episode of cancer I received God's Word that I would be healed, even though I was given a terminal diagnosis at an early stage in this disease. I prayed fervently and sought the Lord. A Scripture, Psalm 118:17, '1 will not die but live and I will declare the works of the Lord', became personal to me.
I attended a meeting in Newport where David Hathaway was speaking. It was just prior to having a stem cell transplant and I was very sick. David prayed with me and asked God to give me a gift of faith. As I left that meeting I believed that I had been healed, but I was very discouraged by the lack of any evidence in myself or in the young lad who had come in a wheelchair and was sobbing because he still could not get out. It was very distressing and I was confused. - I had seen others witness to their instant healing by demonstrating that they could do something they had previously not been able to do...
My stem cell transplant failed and several months later I was discharged into hospice care with an estimated 10 weeks to live. I never took up the place as a few weeks later I was miraculously healed! It's recorded as such in my hospital notes!
But now on the screen I can see a large tumour in my skull. The Word of God neverchanges! Whatever this new challenge, somehow I had to take hold once more of the truth that God heals, God saves, God delivers. Hebrews 10:35-36 says, 'Do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord, no matter what happens. Remember the great reward it brings you.' But it was hard for me!
What makes it so hard? We are often surrounded in moments of crisis by people who want to help, to comfort, to ease the pain; and then there is the medical evidence - what you see; what the doctors tell you; what your family and friends tell you; how you feel, what you think, what you say - all these are some of the things that distract us. When I saw this large Enplaque Meningioma, I found myself saying, "I can't do this again; I can't go through it all again." I was teetering on the brink of giving up'. My mind was full of thoughts, negative thoughts. A battle I had fought so adamantly before.
Healing or even the miracle that we believe God for, does not always appear instantly. I have witnessed many times in meetings that it can and does happen. But the situations I have found myself in are situations that have demanded endurance, not giving up, a walk in faith. In the face of what I can see and feel. The very opposite of what I am believing for.
What we need to believe and to hang on to is that God has heard our prayer, He has heard our cry. He is faithful to His Word. He cannot lie. Truth stands whether we feel it or not. And most often, we don't feel it: we are called to walk in it, to demonstrate our faith.
So - did I give up? No. No. No! The Holy Spirit helped me and I began again agreeing with the Word of God. In my lounge one morning, I declared loudly every Scripture that came to my mind. If there had been a CCTV camera in my lounge I
would have had complete difficulty in explaining my behaviour. I declared the Truth. Psalm 103
Praise the Lord, I tell myself: with my whole heart, I will bless
His Holy Name. Bless the Lord, I tell myself, and
never forget the good things He does for me.
He forgives my sins and heals all my diseases...
His Holy Name. Bless the Lord, I tell myself, and
never forget the good things He does for me.
He forgives my sins and heals all my diseases...
I placed my hand over the area where the tumour is located and asked the Lord to place His hand over mine. I commanded the tumour to die. I recalled the incident where Jesus cursed the fig tree and it died. I thanked God for my healing. I danced and cried at the same time.
An appointment was made for me to seea Neurosurgeon. As I
entered his consulting room I could see that he had the scan on his computer. He told me that it's quite large and that he could not operate without the risk of brain damage - but he had no need to because, he said, "It is dead!!! Your body has somehow cured itself. Discharged!"
entered his consulting room I could see that he had the scan on his computer. He told me that it's quite large and that he could not operate without the risk of brain damage - but he had no need to because, he said, "It is dead!!! Your body has somehow cured itself. Discharged!"
Recently I visited Auschwitz while on a crusade with David Hathaway in Krakow. Our guide told us of the only person, a man, who survived the death camp from beginning to end. How? His answer was simply, ''I wanted to live!" That finds a resounding echo in my heart. When I got sick - very sick - and the doctors could do nothing - I wanted to live! I wanted a miracle and God gave me the strength to persevere and not give up - even though there were still difficult times till I received the miracle
that defied the doctor's predictions.
I get many requests for prayer from people who are themselves very sick or they refer friends or relatives to me; even people I meet in shops want to talk with me or ask me to pray with them when they find out that I have had cancer three times and now this tumour in my skull that God has healed! I do not have all the answers. I pray with them, but Jesus is the One who heals. I encourage them not to give up, to know that God truly loves them and I ask the Holy Spirit to show me ways to inspire them to trust in the Lord and in His Word for themselves, to receive from Him that gift of faith - that courage and steadfastness to hold
fast and not throw away their confident trust in the Lord. No matter what.
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