The next generation find the Total Truth....
Romans 2 NASV
Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things.
2 And we know that the judgment of God rightly falls upon those who practice such things.
3 But do you suppose this, O man, when you pass judgment on those who practice such things and do the same yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God?
4 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?
5 But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,
6 who will render to each person according to his deeds:
7 to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality, eternal life;
8 but to those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, wrath and indignation.
9 There will be tribulation and distress for every soul of man who does evil, of the Jew first and also of the Greek,
10 but glory and honor and peace to everyone who does good, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.
11 For there is no partiality with God.
12 For all who have sinned without the Law will also perish without the Law, and all who have sinned [h]under the Law will be judged by the Law;
13 for it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified.
14 For when Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law to themselves,
15 in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them,
16 on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus.
John 3
14 As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up;
15 so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life.
16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
17 For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.
18 He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
19 This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.
20 For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
21 But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.”
John 16
8 And He, (the Holy Spirit)when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment; 9 concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me; 11 and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.
The words to the old hymn by John H. Sammis, "Trust and Obey," frequently ring in my ear when I think about my life. I've had the privilege of growing up not just in a Christian household, but around Christians committed to the total truth of the Bible. I wish I could say that because of this I've always followed those words of "Trust and Obey," but that's not the case. Instead I've been disobedient time and time again; yet God in His mercy brought me to points of desperation where I've simply had to take steps to "Trust and Obey," against what I feel like I want to do---to take that step of faith to take God at His word.
Growing up
I grew up in a Christian household, but despite this. I did not desire or choose to trust Christ as my Lord and Savior until age 17. I thought I was a "good Christian girl." The reality is that I was a brat, proud, haughty, self-centered, judgmental, disobedient
judgmental, mean, disobedient and self-righteous. I cut people down in my mind to make myself feel superior to them. Of course I tried to keep my sin hidden.
Unsurprisingly, God had been trying to get my attention fora long time, but I hadn't been interested in turning from my sin. I however, at age 17, the consequences of my sin started catching up with me. I admitted to my evil thoughts, but made no steps to repent. My mother 2avc me an ultimatum: either turn from
my sin or leave the house. My godmother also asked me a question I will never forget... "If you believe the Bible is true, and applies to everyone, how do you read it and not apply it to yourself?" That burned in my brain—How could I? Did I believe I was some special case, that God had written the Bible for his people, except Rebecca Jane? How ridiculous.
I read some key verses that spoke directly to me—verses as simple as Mark 12:30-31: "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. and the second is this to love your neighbor as yourself" And others that spoke more directly to my sin such as I John 3:1516: "Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no Murderer has eternal life residing in him
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." I decided to take God at His word, that what the Bible says is true. I knew that I had sinned against God, and against His people, that short of Christ being the Lord and Savior of my life, and Him living His life through me, I had no hope for living a right life. I decided to trust Christ as my Lord and Savior in April of 2004.
I began to learn that like all people, I'm not a self'-functioning independent person—I am created as a vessel to contain/be united with God's spirit. Be-cause of the Fall, humankind inherited the spirit of error and before I accepted Christ, I was born a slave to Satan. with its spirit operating through me, so he was free to live out sin by me. The Bible says in John 8:44 "Ye arc of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do," and in Ephesians 2:12 "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience." Satan by me was able to live out pride. haughtiness, self-centeredness, disobedience, self-righteousness, and judgmentalism. When I cut people down and chose to sin, it was Satan himself working through my members.
When I decided to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior, Satan, the spirit of error, was kicked out and was replaced by the Holy Spirit who now lives out God's righteousness in, as and through me. In John 15: 5 it says "I am the vine. YOU are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." We also read in Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body. I live by faith in the Son of God. who loved me and gave himself for me." And in 1 Corinthians 6:17 "But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him." In Summary, I saw I was bossed by the cause of the Fall, humankind inherited the spirit of error and before I accepted Christ, I was born a slave to Satan. with ]its spirit operating through me, so he was free to live out sin by me. The Bible says in John 8:44 "Ye arc of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do," and in Ephesians 2:12 "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience." Satan by me was able to live out pride. haughtiness, self-centeredness, disobedience, self-righteousness, and judgmentalism. When I cut people down and chose to sin, it was Satan himself working through my members.
When I decided to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior, Satan, the spirit of error, was kicked out and was replaced by the Holy Spirit who now lives out God's righteousness in, as and through me. In John 15: 5 it says "I am the vine. YOU are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." We also read in Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body. I live by faith in the Son of God. who loved me and gave himself for me." And in 1 Corinthians 6:17 "But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him." In Summary, I saw I was bossed by the spirit of Satan before being saved, and was now bossed by the Holy Spirit, or spirit of righteousness.
The Fall after I accepted Christ, I went to college. For what I knew and understood, I experienced freedom in Christ, and my life took a 180. But as we all know, temptations don't just stop when we accept Christ—our faith must be tested.
Second Crisis
After graduating college, I got into the "real world." Unfortunately, a lot of what God had revealed to me when I was saved was just head knowledge. The same lies that Satan had used with me my entire life came up, and I started believing them. I still believed there was an independent Rebecca Jane who needed to "be okay" by trying to appear better than others. Once I bit into that lie, that I was a "just me," Satan was able to misuse me through my flesh members (my body and soul). He could never operate me from my spirit again, because I was joined to the Holy Spirit; but he could work through my body and soul to block the Holy Spirit from freely operating.
Even though I tried to keep my sin hidden, the Holy Spirit in me was blocked, and sin again showed its ugly face. My "hidden" thoughts about people started becoming obvious in my words and actions. I started outwardly tearing down my closest friends to their face, friends who had been with me through the toughest times of my life and I was outwardly cruel to my boyfriend. There was never a time in my life I was so hard—to God, to Christ, to His people, to His word.
Friends and family were concerned and helped me try to identify my sin, so I could see it and turn from it. But my heart was hard; I didn't want to stop sinning—I wanted to feel superior to other people.
God in His grace and mercy put people in my life who refused to let Satan win the very people I greatly mistreated wanted me to live a life of freedom in Christ.
I first started choosing to see some light when I took the advice of my godmother and my friend who encouraged me to stop focusing on all external, selfish things my circumstances, my thoughts and feelings. It was between me and God, period. My friend also encouraged me to read Psalm 139, which talks about how God is always there
We can't escape Him: He knows our thoughts, when we get up, when we lie down. Another friend, seeing some of his former sin in me, pointed out that I might be dealing with jealousy. That was a new thought to me and helped shed light on my sin. All these things were rolling in my mind, but I didn't want to give my sin up. I liked the idea of being better than, not less than.
Later that week, on January 23, 2013, at my church fellowship my godmother suggested that I talk about how I'd sinned against my friends, and maybe I would connect with it and be broken about it. I was getting desperate: my life was a wreck, I had been atrocious to everyone who had loved and cared for me, some my entire life. So in obedience, I thought I can at least do that. I started speaking to one of my closest friends about the horrible things I had said to her. She responded that I was monotone and had no passion. In obedience, I said to myself, you can at least put some energy into your voice. I started speaking again, and unlike anything I've experienced before, it wasn't "me" talking. (It had never been "just me," it had been Satan before, living out sin through my members but now it was the Holy Spirit). The floodgates opened, in brokenness, my confession of my sins against my friends and family poured out. I hadn't planned on what to say. I had no intention of confessing. But after my simply taking steps of obedience towards Christ, steps of obedience in trusting Him, the Holy Spirit was there to say the words through me, to show me my sin, to make restoration with loved ones.
The scales fell from my eyes (Acts 9:18). Jealousy was at the core of my sin. Jealousy over all sorts of things in others—their looks, smarts, personality, spiritual maturity, etc. Instead of recognizing those feelings of jealousy as just feelings, "I" (thinking it was just me) had believed and lived from those feelings, and Satan was free through me to attack the people I felt jealous of. I had a beef with how God made me—I was lacking. But the answer the entire time, and what had been revealed to me when I was saved, was that I was whole and complete, lacking nothing in Christ, and there was nothing in this world that could compare with that gift. I'm forever grateful to my brothers and sisters in Christ who were willing to stick with me and see me through to receiving this gift; I was truly rescued, and I owe it all to the Christ people in my life.
I believe that was the "second crisis" in my life. When I accepted Christ, I knew I was a sinner in need of a savior, in need of the Holy Spirit to live out His righteousness through me. Now, I understand there wasn't just a Rebecca
Jane living her life, there was no "just me." I contain a spirit who lives His life through me!
Now I live in a moment-by-moment faith walk. God made us to have a soul with natural human feelings and reactions. It's through those thoughts and feelings that Satan tries to convince me that it's just me living, rather than the truth—I am a vessel for Jesus Christ to live His life through. I'm a spirit person, containing, eternally joined to, and made complete by His Holy Spirit living His life as me. I still have feelings of jealousy quite often; Satan still temps me to act on those feelings. But now when those feelings and thoughts arise, I go back to the truth— that God made me exactly how He wanted to, and it's ex-
actly His business as to how He lives His life out through me and how He created me to be. No one can be better or less than me, and I can't be better or less than anyone else. In 2 Corinthians 10:5 it says, "We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." By my taking my thoughts captive to the truth of who I really am, Christ is free to be a life laid down for people around me. He's free to care about them, meet their needs, be a right person to them.
There may be times you don't want to give up your sin and you're fighting against God's word. But dare to believe the truth about yourself and, as the hymn says, "Trust and obey, for -there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey."
Rebecca can be contacted through
Zerubbabel Press
PO Box 1710,
Blowing Rock
NC 2865
http://www.zerubbabel.org/
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